Title: I use to believe in second chances

My love always seemed like one big game to you,

and I can't win no matter what I do,

I loved you and meant it,

but even I have my limit and it seems I've reached it,

I can't do this any more and I won't,

You said you meant it but I know you still don't,

You never did and you never will,

All I know to do now is deal,

Deal with the shame of my own stupidity,

For letting you back in after what you did to me,

I hate myself for taking you back,

But I hate you more for the love you lacked,

I showed you me and got nothing back,

You are drowning me now with my own memories,

I hate you for what you did and everything you do now,

I hate myself for the chance I offered you and what I had allowed,

I don't know what to make of what we were or what we became,

I don't know how I didn't notice that you really hadn't changed,

I guess I can blame myself but nothing will help,

But I want you to know that you're not the reason I wanted to kill myself,

I was going through a really hard time,

You were suppose to be there for me that night,

But instead you turned your back on me without a second glance,

After I was the one who had to give you the second chance,

I knew all along I was being naive,

And at any given moment you could turn around and do the same thing to me,

But I gave you the benefit of a doubt,

Even though I should have told you to get the fuck out,

I want you to know what I feel about the way you treated me,

But instead I'm letting it go so that it doesn't break me,

I'll be the better person just like I always am,

And you'll be the miserable one in the end.

you may say you love me and though it may be tru i find it hard to believe you.

you sound so cold everytime you say it it makes me sick.

i sit and wonder where this will go but the olny think i wonder is why you're so cold.

i try to make it work time and time again but the feeling i once had now feels like a sin.

so tonight ill drown myself in my own tears of despair and when the time comes you wont be there.

you said you would take my fear away

you said you would know at to do

you said it would be ok

you said you love me

but now i see

that your feelings have gone away

and i cant believe word you say

...

take apart these dreams that keep me sane

make me see the the things ive never seen

so u can be

let me know if theres a way

tell me what to say

if i ever get the chance to say

i let u know if i still love u

but before i go away

this is what ill do

ill wish away tomorow

so that today wont be a yesturday

so u can hold me in ur amrs one more time befor i have to go

im writing to say good bye

but it wont be the last time

because this isnt the first time ive tried.